The New Zodiac!
Some joker in Minnesota announced this week that the dates of the astrological birth signs has changed. And, while he was at it, he added another sign.
Parke Kunkle with the Minnesota Planetarium Society (and an astronomy instructor at a community college) announced that due to a wobbly earth, the signs have to be adjusted. And, in doing so, a new sign had to be crammed into the chart…that of Ophiuchus, the snake handler. I think it would be unwise to tell ladies in a bar that your sign is that of the snake handler.
Here’s the new star chart:
Capricorn: Jan 20-Feb 16
Aquarius: Feb 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 20
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug 10
Leo: Aug 10-Sep 16
Virgo: Sep 16 – Oct 30
Libra: Oct 30 – Nov 23
Scorpio: Nov 23 – 29
Ophiuchus: Nov 29 – Dec 17
Sagittarius: Dec 17 – Jan 20
Now, this raises a few issues.
First, I give as much creedence to astrology as I give to the likelihood of being genuinely amused by A Prairie Home Companion. Nonetheless, these questions remain:
1. Who has the authority to govern issues in the astrological world? Is there some governing body, or can any community college teacher decree a change in the signs?
2. If the signs change, and you are forced to move from one to another, do you lose the personality traits you previously had?
3. Can you now get a no fault divorce on the grounds that “I thought I married a Sagittarius, but it turns out I married an Ophiuchus, when clearly a Scorpio is not compatible with an Ophiuchus?”
4. Will mediums, gypsies, witches and warlocks now be required to take continuing education classes to make sure their readings are accurate?
5. Is Parke Kunkle a real name?Like this piece? Click here to vote it to the top!